I'm not on about God who did things yonks ago and hasn't been
heard of since; or God who wound up the universe like a spring
and then let it go - leaving us to get on with it. I'm on about
God who's in business NOW, who reaches out and touches people in 2001, who breaks into lives suddenly, often dramatically, always
PERSONALLY. I know that when he does that, you get a cosmic-sized
feeling of unbelievable safety. For the bottom line is that when
God lets you know he's there, he does it with LOVE. Which is just
as well, because he's BIG!
Yeh, I got zapped by God's love and realised how BIG he really is. So big he knew the e-mail address of my heart. But so loving he could WANT to know that address, could want to say 'hey, remember me?' after all the hurtful things I'd done and said about him.
All I had to do was relax my scepticism for a moment (not give it up - that was impossible!) and say: God, if you're really there, then come and sort me out will you, cos I can't! Yes, I had to swallow hard and sheepishly admit that despite all I might pretend to be, I simply didn't have all the resources to sort out my life. So I said a little prayer, and though it was such a minuscule, half- hearted thing that I did, God responded by showing me what I personally needed - PROOF that he was there. It was all ridiculously back to front! I wanted proof to start with, but God wanted a grain of faith first. A grain was all I could muster, just for a moment, long enough to seriously call to him.
Now everyone is different, but one thing I know for sure: God had never deffed me out, He'd always wanted to have a relationship with me, yet he would never IMPOSE himself on me. I had to invite him. That's cos he always wants a true friendship freely entered into - he didn't want to dragoon me like a robot or force me like a slave. So now I write songs about God, where before I might tend to write them about girls. Really, love songs and God songs are not so very different. When you get zapped by love, you just can't help but shout about it!
'For I know the plans I have for you' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future...' Jeremiah 29:11.
if you're there, Help!
I don't blame people for saying 'I don't believe in God'. How can anyone believe in a God who doesn't DO anything? - who isn't real today - who lives in a fusty old book full of legend and mythology - who seems to allow awful things to happen everywhere. It doesn't make sense does it? It never made any sense to me, that's the truth.
No, I never believed in God - not until he did something for me. God was never real to me until he started doing things. When that happened, I was astonished - it wasn't anything like I imagined 'religious' happenings to be. For starters it wasn't spooky! - it didn't make me feel scared, it made me feel warm and peaceful. How could that be?. I'll tell you,
I got to a point where I said: God, if you're there, help me please! - those weren't my exact words, but it was what I meant in my heart - You see I didn't really believe he was there so I said: 'If you're there!' meaning, 'I don't suppose you are really, but just in case you are - HELP!' God became real to me when he answered me and started doing things, turning things around. This isn't just my experience. Speak to any Christian, or read stories of other peoples' lives (some who have been delivered from desperate situations), and you'll find the same thing, said in different words maybe, but still the same: God if you're there, get me out of this mess will you? Funny thing is, I never have heard of anyone calling out to God with all their heart, and being ignored.
Notes on the songs
A long while back, I wrote a song called Princeton (on the Earth Rise album). A line of the lyric says:- If ever I'm allowed to see the wheels within the wheels - the hidden truth woven into our reality that made some sense of it. And in the song, we did all kinds of crazy things, we looked for UFOs to come and rescue us, and searched in the stars and all over the place for that truth we craved. And it made us happy for a moment (so the song says!). Well I stopped searching cos I found the answer I was looking for - I always supected it was lurking somewhere, hidden right before my eyes. And it was! Like a man might find diamonds on the sidewalk, I came upon answers where I never thought to look. It was a deep well of understanding - who I am and who God is. Yes, the UFOs never turned up, but God did. I discovered he'd already rescued me 2,000 years ago and I didn't know. But in a day I found out about it, and since then he's not stopped rescuing me, from all the trials and tribulations that life throws. I always liked that song Princeton. I like it more now I know what it means!
|© David Scott-Morgan 1997-2001